Financial Abuse in Marriage: Recognizing the Signs and How it May Impact Your Divorce
You don’t have to navigate your divorce alone.
Through our work at The Women’s Financial Wellness Center, we have heard many stories of abuse. The first thing that comes to mind when you hear the term “domestic violence” is most likely NOT financial abuse. It’s not how it’s portrayed on social media and it’s certainly not what we see commonly in the news.
However, despite it being a lesser-known form of abuse in marriage, it happens more often than you may realize. Financial abuse occurs frequently in unhealthy relationships and just like a woman may need a physical safety plan, a financial safety plan can be just as important! Understanding and recognizing the signs of financial abuse can be the first step to securing your financial well-being for a healthier future.
Read the signs below to identify if you’ve been a victim of financial abuse in your marriage.
A.B.U.S.E.
There are five warning signs that you may be experiencing financial abuse in your relationships. Being able to identify them early and seek the help of a divorce lawyer or a certified divorce financial analyst can help you avoid losing the life you have built during your divorce.
Alienates from Finances.
This may look like many things in your marriage. Your partner may deliberately keep you uninformed about the state of your finances or simply exclude you from financial decisions and responsibilities. If you are being alienated from your finances, you may not know the income that is coming in or the expenses that are going out.
Some examples of this may be:
Hiding or taking funds.
Encouraging you not to ask questions and simply trust them about the finances.
Making financial decisions without your input in a way that puts you or your family at risk.
If this sounds familiar, this may be a sign of financial abuse in your marriage. You are not alone and this is not ok! Be sure to share this information with your divorce financial professional.
Believes Marital Money is Theirs.
Whether your spouse simply believes that the marital assets are solely theirs or they have attempted to set up your finances so they are, this may be a sign of financial abuse in your marriage. This not only includes assets but also the income. We have found that women are not immune to this type of behavior if there is an imbalance of power. It doesn’t seem to matter if they have a full-time career, part-time career or don’t work outside the home.
Some examples of this may be:
Requiring you to ask permission before spending money.
Establishing unrealistic “allowances” for spending.
Having a double standard when it comes to spending.
Making the non-monied spouse put all the income into the joint account while diverting their paycheck to another account Moving assets solely into their name (homes, rental properties, cars, etc.)
Structuring your finances in this way in and of itself is not necessarily abusive. However, when your spouse uses this fact to deny you access to funds or to limit your financial independence, it starts to become a problem. If this sounds like something you are experiencing in your marriage, a certified divorce financial analyst and a forensic accountant can help!
Uses the Legal System to Control Their Spouse.
When your partner uses the legal system to gain control over your finances or to exert power and control, it is critical that you recognize this as financial abuse. They may manipulate or lie to do this. Your partner may also pressure you to legally give them rights over your finances.
Some examples of this may be:
Forcing you to sign a power-of-attorney so they can sign legal documents for you.
Threatening to report you for misuse of funds or cheating.
If this sounds like your situation, you may be experiencing financial abuse in your marriage. With help from a certified divorce financial analyst you can protect yourself and your assets during your divorce.
Seems Like the Victim.
A big red flag for financial abuse is when your partner often plays or portrays themselves as the victim. This is often to distract or take attention away from the fact that they are controlling finances. This very typical behavior can keep you trapped in an abuse-cycle and is important to identify and see through the facade.
Some examples of this may be:
Pressuring you to quit your job to be home and present for them or the children.
Making you feel guilty or ungrateful for asking questions about your finances.
Telling you that if they have to pay support, they will not be able to survive.
This type of behavior is a major red flag for financial abuse! If you are experiencing this in your relationship, reach out to a divorce financial professional for help and next steps.
Evades Financial Transparency and Accountability.
If your partner constantly avoids open discussions about finances, hides financial information or avoids financial accountability, it may be a sign of financial abuse in your relationship. By keeping you in the dark about what is happening in your finances, it keeps you in a position of weakness in your marriage.
Some examples of this may be:
There are certain areas of your shared finances that are considered off limits to you.
When you ask questions about your finances your partner changes the subject or becomes angry and turns the conversation around on your.
They require all the accounts to have a two-step authentication that goes to their phone/email only.
In this situation, your partner understands that knowledge is power. By withholding information or knowledge about your finances, they retain power in the relationship. If you are experiencing this in your marriage, it’s time to seek help!
Help is available! Reach out to a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to put the power back in your hands.
The help you need is here!
Financial abuse is a common form of abuse in a marriage. But with the right help, you can get out of that abusive relationship and maintain the lifestyle you’ve built and love. As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, I help empower women facing divorce. I’m here to put more money back in your hands and navigate your divorce finances with confidence.
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