How a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA®) can Assist You During Mediation
There are a number of reasons why you may choose mediation over traditional litigation. Maybe you want a swift solution to your separation. Maybe you want to preserve the relationship you share with your spouse. Or maybe you want to feel empowered to work together to achieve a win-win solution.
Regardless of your why, mediation is a terrific addition to working with a traditional lawyer. Add a CDFA® to the mix and you have all the support you need to advocate for yourself and negotiate a settlement agreement that will meet your current and future financial needs.
What is the Role of the Mediator?
It’s important to note that while the mediator assists and guides you towards a resolution, they cannot provide legal or financial advice to either party. They act as a neutral third party and are skilled at sifting through the facts while assessing the strengths and weaknesses of each party’s case.
Why is it Important to Include a CDFA During Mediation?
By involving a CDFA® in your mediation you include someone who can properly help you gather information about your financial situation, analyze your spouse’s disclosures, suggest different ways to divide assets fairly, obtain accurate data for alimony and child support calculations, and forecast short and long-term financial implications of proposed settlement options.
“Redefine “nice.” It’s NOT mean to build a team to support you, ask questions, and get what you deserve. And the reverse is true too. Allowing yourself to be convinced of what you deserve is not what it means to be nice.”
Myths Surrounding Mediation
Mediation has gotten a lot of attention over the last few years. Unfortunately, there are some myths around mediation that people don’t often know.
Myth 1: I don’t need an attorney because I have a mediator.
Believe us when we say that yes, you absolutely still need an attorney. As an individual who cannot take sides and is there primarily to help you engage in a productive conversation, the mediator will not look out for your personal interests. Your attorney will help you divide assets and debts and establish terms for child custody and child support.
Myth 2: I want to save money, so I want to use a mediator.
Mediation can be less stressful and less expensive in situations where spouses only need a few sessions to settle their matters. But often, mediation can exacerbate the situation and ultimately couples find themselves in a court battle. For mediation to be successful, both parties need to come in willing to participate and come to an agreement themselves. Remember, mediators cannot make decisions and even if you have evidence, it still comes down to you and your spouse reaching a mutual agreement.
Myth 3: My husband has my best interests at heart. That is why he is adamant about mediation.
Please believe us when we say that the only person you can count on having your best interests at heart are you and the people you hire to advocate for you. It is essential that during a divorce, you take emotions, wishes, and assumptions out of the equation as much as possible and start relying on your own judgement, needs, and future. We suggest keeping a journal of your feelings, but depersonalizing and limiting availability to just decisions around the divorce or co-parenting.
Myth 4: The mediator will advocate for me to receive the best and fairest outcome.
No, the mediator will not advocate for you. Their job is to maintain an unbiased opinion and assist and guide both parties toward their own resolution. The mediator does not decide the outcome, you and your spouse do. They are just there to help you both understand and focus on the important issues where you need to reach a resolution.
“We don’t hate men. It’s not about men versus women. We hate the cluster of confusion. We hate seeing our clients face financial uncertainty. We hate watching women blame the system or their spouse when in reality, it’s just their lack of understanding.”
Be the Queen You Are. Hire a CDFA® for Your Mediation.
Overwhelmingly, throughout the divorce process, women are the ones who get steamrolled. Now we are not saying this to take an anti-men stance. We are saying this because it’s in the numbers. ALL the numbers, in fact. By being nice, working as a stay-at-home parent, or through a myriad of other factors, women often face an uncertain financial future after divorce. This uncertainty is a big reason why WFWC exists.
By helping women find a better way to maintain financial wellness throughout and after a woman’s divorce, we use our knowledge, passion, and experience to build leading-edge strategies to help our clients stay three steps ahead at all times.
We don’t hate men, and honestly, it’s not about men versus women. We hate the cluster of confusion. We hate seeing our clients face a future filled with financial uncertainty. We hate watching women blame the system or their spouse for their situation, when in reality it came about because they were too scared to rock the boat and claim what is rightfully theirs.
While it’s important to achieve a successful mediation, it’s also important to redefine being “nice.” When women start to assert themselves during divorce, we often see a lot of bullying, negativity, and aggression as a tactic to manipulate and control their actions.
So, we urge you to redefine your nice. It’s not being mean to build a team to support you, ask questions, and demand what you deserve instead of allowing yourself to be convinced of what you deserve.
During the divorce process, the biggest challenge isn’t what we know or don’t know, it is what we don’t even know that we don’t know! By surrounding yourself with a team of people that have YOUR best interests in mind, you can feel confident knowing that your financial future will be the best it can be.
Master Your Financial Future Post-Divorce
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