Finding Your Equilibrium During Divorce

October 2, 2018


Equilibrium is a calm state of mind. Is that really possible in the midst of a major life transition like divorce?


For many women divorce is challenging because it feels like they cannot see the proverbial forest through the trees; the future may seem like a big threatening question mark. Many women have described it as the feeling that emerges when walking down a dark path or trying to keep their head above water. The sensation of feeling fearful or off balance may be new or entirely unexpected which can set off a cascade of negative emotions.

In spite of unnerving and oftentimes unsettling outcomes that the process of divorce may pose, it is very important to consider what it would take to ensure a state of equilibrium as you manage the very real divorce-related emotions, life changes and consequences.   


Change that comes on the heels of a divorce is never an easy pill to swallow. The journey is wrought with self-doubt, regret and sadness. One of the ways to help ensure equilibrium is to be patient with yourself. Give yourself permission to make time for self-care. I know it can be challenging to extend grace to yourself, but it is really important. This is most likely a new process for you with a new set of challenges and responsibilities. How would you know all the ins-and-outs of divorce if you haven't been down this path before? Patience requires practice and the knowledge that difficulties cannot resolve nor somehow become less stressful overnight. There is no magic timeline. Don’t be hard on yourself and attempt to rush the process of building your new life chapter; just know that you WILL do it.


To that end, another way to ensure a calm state of mind is to utilize resources that can help you find your calm state of mind amidst what might feel like uncontrolled chaos. Don't do this alone. You certainly need to find your team (attorney, therapist, coach, financial expert). Remember, there are no special awards for traveling solo on this journey!


Lastly, The Women’s Financial Wellness Center is here to help! We are wholeheartedly committed to providing women with practical solutions, relevant education, time management skills, and financial budgeting amongst a host of other services. We liken ourselves to being your personal guide, at the ready with a map, flashlight and comforting words of support as you transition from what currently is making your feel unsteady to a place where a more equal state of balance has returned. Letting us help you find your footing (next steps) is what we are all about.


Holding on is believing that there's only a past; letting go is knowing that there's a future. -Daphne Rose Kingma


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